As I mentioned before, my father died on March 22, Saturday.
When I got the call from older sister, I’d already known from my oldest sister’s posts that my father had died.
I will explain my use of my father versus my dad, A dad feels more intimate than a father, which is why I use father instead of dad.
A dad feels more intimate than father. Which is why I choose to use the father designation.
At any rate. I got the call though I’d seen the text from my other sister concerning the body. It was early afternoon, my time, when I got the call, my father was dead. I didn’t feel anything at first. Later I remember thinking I should feel sad about this.
But the reality was, I didn’t feel any grief or sadness. I kept on wondering why I didn’t feel any grief or sadness about his death. I needed time to process things. By Sunday, my feelings concerning his death were much clearer.
I was not expecting this at all. I felt really good. I was happy and in a good mood. But more importantly, my mind was quiet.
I went into work early Monday morning and talked to a couple of women in the warehouse who I get along with really well. One of them asked how my weekend was, and I replied that my father had died. She immediately responded, “I’m so sorry.” It’s a natural response from folks. My story, however, is not natural. I immediately replied, without thinking, “Please don’t be, cause I’m not.” The other woman said, “my condolences,” which I accepted. The only other person I told was my manager since I wasn’t sure how things would unfold. Now I did tell him earlier my father had gone into hospice, and I wasn’t sure if I would need to go to the state he was living in. He was fine with that and just wanted to be kept in touch if I needed to suddenly travel.
So how are things 4 weeks later? That’s the subject of the next blog.