Right now, there are several main alters: a 7-year-old boy along with his protect protector, who is in his early to mid-twenties. He is around 6′ 2 inches, maybe slightly taller, very strong and muscular. He is much stronger and taller than me. Don’t ask me how I know this, I just do. I haven’t always known how big and tall he is. He may have whispered it to me one day. My sense is it was in the past few years rather than a lot further back with the previous therapist.
When the alters first came out, I was not aware of what was going on. There would be missing time. Like it never happened. I had no memory of the interaction. No idea of what was said or even how much time had gone by. Sometimes I’d be concerned about it, but nothing bad ever happened.
Over time, I slowly became aware of what was being said during therapy sessions. I even was aware of them during this time. It felt like I was right behind them, observing what they were doing and saying.
It was during this “switching” process, I became aware of the size of the protector. He does have a name, but I’m choosing not to disclose it at this time. Perhaps in the future sometime. Anyway, when I was out talking and the protector came out after that, that’s when I noticed changes.
I would suddenly sit up higher and straighter. Internally I was aware of his muscular stature and build. It’s interesting that the time when I sustained a back injury, he was not affected at all! He doesn’t age; he is always 23 years old. He has been through some terrible experiences.
He will do anything to protect the 7-year-old. More on him next.