Why am I afraid to let people help me?

I work full time for this company. My particular department is small, only consisting of a handful of people. I trained all of the other people who work in this department. There are 2 shifts. Right now, there are 2 people to cover M-F for each shift. My co-worker works with me on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, whereas we used to work together only one day a week.

I mention this because my co-worker and I get along really well. In fact, during a recent conversation with my massage therapist/life coach, she noted that my co-worker was a lot like one of my alters who is a protector. That certainly never occurred to me, and it made sense to me now why we get along so well. It’s interesting because we never would have crossed paths, since our backgrounds are very different.

At any rate, I had been mentioning to my co-workers that my hands were sore doing some of the tedious work that no one else wanted to do. It needed to be done, so I would end up doing it. It’s time consuming and repetitive. I brought it up to my manager and some other folks, but nothing ever happened to address the issue.

Well, my co-worker decided to take action one day recently on this issue. I told him please don’t get fired. He responded he was only going to talk. So, he messaged the general manager, asking him to talk.

The GM stopped by while I was still in the room and the 2 of them began to have a conversation about the work and my hand being sore. It had gotten to the point where I was going to go out and buy a tool myself. That was the last straw for my co-worker.

The conversation turned out to be fine and the very next day (my say off), a new tool arrived to ease my hand issues. He didn’t tell me as he wanted it to be a surprise when I showed up to work Monday morning. He didn’t get fired or anything like that. Nothing bad happened to him.

But it clearly triggered something in me from my past.

More on this later.

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