PT 3
Things remained the status quo for a number of years. I eventually bought a house in the “big city'” which I felt safe as far as needing any kind of emergency services should the need arise. If I ever need the police or fire department, they were nearby. I actually felt safer in the “big city” instead of the small town.
Fast forward to several years ago (I’m not good with time, more on that later), I was seeing a massage therapist/spiritual life coach (she was a healer, more on that too). At any rate, I was talking to her one day about not feeling safe.
My mother is dead, but my father is still alive. And while he is in his 90’s, I did not feel safe. I was talking to the healer (the massage therapist/spiritual lie coach), one day about not feeling safe.
While my father is in his 90’s, I did not feel safe. While the healer pointed out his age, on some level it did not matter to me. While in my head I could understand where she was coming from, on an emotional level it was a totally differently story.
I wanted to feel safe.
In my mind, the only way I could really feel safe was for my father to die. I know that it is not a rational idea, but in my mind, he is not 96 years old. He is the age I was being abused.
And that is why I won’t feel safe until he is dead.