One of the things I’d read about (again, before, the internet!) was how the body could change depending on which alter was out, or in control. One alter could have a particular food allergy for example, while no other alters had that issue. I was not aware of how dissociation affected me and my body until I started to become co-conscious with some of the other alters.
Side note. Co-consciousness for me occurs when I am aware of other alters being out and in control. It’s like I am in the backseat of a vehicle being driven by somebody else. I can see where they are going but as a passenger in the vehicle, I have no control as to where the car goes. I am aware of what is going on, but I cannot do anything to stop it, I am but a passenger.
Now I didn’t realize how dissociation affected my body until some real life circumstances.
One particular incident happened before I knew about the others. I was in a living situation that wasn’t healthy. We were taking apart a house and the stove was still hooked up to the electric and the stove was still warm rom being used. I put my hand on the burner, though to this day I have no idea why. The interesting and surprising part about the incident was I felt no pain whatsoever and had absolutely no idea why. In fact, I eventually discovered I had an extremely high threshold for pain, which lasted for years and years. More on that in a future blog.
Another incident happened with an injury on the job. I suffered a back injury on the job and went to physical therapy for treatment. For one of the treatments, I was fitted with a large plastic back brace to wear which was molded to fit my back. I continued with the physical therapy several times a week and at one point the molded back brace began to bother me. My physical therapist took a look at the brace and discovered the brace was no lo longer “molded” to my back. Needless to say my physical therapist couldn’t understand how this molded brace no longer worked. I knew what was going on: different alters affected the body differently. And other alters didn’t suffer the same injury as I did. As a result they could lift things I wasn’t able to with no consequences to me.
For example, I have a male protector alter (the body is female, as am I), who is much bigger than I am. I’d say he is around 6’2″ with a very muscular build. I can tell when this alter comes out because I can feel my body “getting bigger”, even though in actuality it is not. I will talk more about the alters in another blog.