I took my cat Bonnie Raitt out for a walk on a Friday afternoon on her leash (it’s the only way they go outside). She was fine, happily going into the backyard munching grass. She was fine. I had noticed though, she’d lost a little bit of weight, but I wasn’t too concerned. I didn’t… Continue reading An Unexpected Death
Why am I afraid to let people help me?
I work full time for this company. My particular department is small, only consisting of a handful of people. I trained all of the other people who work in this department. There are 2 shifts. Right now, there are 2 people to cover M-F for each shift. My co-worker works with me on Tuesday, Wednesday,… Continue reading Why am I afraid to let people help me?
Cutting the Strings
PT.1 I was talking to my massage therapist during a Life Coaching session (who by the way is really good at that, but more on that later) and I believe we touched on the subject of what’s blocking me, or something like that. I could be wrong, but that’s the gist of it. At any… Continue reading Cutting the Strings
TIME
I believe time is a man-made invention, at least from my perspective. Most people, I think, believe that time is linear. And it may be for them. For me, however, time is not linear. I’ve heard of some people having no sense of direction (my massage therapist for one!). Me, however, I have no concept… Continue reading TIME
Untethered
I was listening to a psychic medium on you tube, when the host mentioned a book entitled “The Untethered Soul.” It immediately piqued my interest. My massage therapist had that book. So I went to go buy it. It was the last copy at the store. What it means to me after talking to the… Continue reading Untethered
More on Suicidal Thoughts
PT3 While I only tried to kill myself only once, the suicidal ideation continued for years (decades!). One example of this was I would play “chicken” with cars. Crossing the road while a car was coming, luckily, I never got hit. But that was one example of my strong desire to die without committing suicide.… Continue reading More on Suicidal Thoughts
Overcoming Decades of Wanting to Kill Myself
PT2 One thing I will say about my unsuccessful suicide attempt, was that it wasn’t my exit point. That’s a recent revelation on my part and I will be going into it in a future post. At any rate, it was not my time to go, hence the unsuccessful attempt. I did not know that… Continue reading Overcoming Decades of Wanting to Kill Myself
How I Overcame Decades of Wanting to Kill Myself
I went to an in-state college not too far from my hometown. I was so unprepared for college life, actually, life in general, I did not have to skills to deal with everyday life. At the same time, there were things going on underneath the surface which I was not aware of. And I would… Continue reading How I Overcame Decades of Wanting to Kill Myself
First my cat, then my younger brother.
I initially began this post regarding the death of my beloved old man cat, who I had to put down shortly before Thanksgiving (U.S. holiday). It was quite an affair for me. Then I found out later that my younger brother had died. He was 4 years younger than me. His death was unexpected. In… Continue reading First my cat, then my younger brother.
More on My Cat and Neglect
Upon reading Stevie’s background, I at least understood his background. Perhaps that could give me a clue as to why he triggered me. I had no idea that I’d ever suffered from neglect. Neglect to me was a kid living in squalor conditions, something sever like that. That never happened to me. I remembered I’d… Continue reading More on My Cat and Neglect