PT3 While I only tried to kill myself only once, the suicidal ideation continued for years (decades!). One example of this was I would play “chicken” with cars. Crossing the road while a car was coming, luckily, I never got hit. But that was one example of my strong desire to die without committing suicide.… Continue reading More on Suicidal Thoughts
Overcoming Decades of Wanting to Kill Myself
PT2 One thing I will say about my unsuccessful suicide attempt, was that it wasn’t my exit point. That’s a recent revelation on my part and I will be going into it in a future post. At any rate, it was not my time to go, hence the unsuccessful attempt. I did not know that… Continue reading Overcoming Decades of Wanting to Kill Myself
More on How My Cat Triggered Me.
My new cat Stevie came from a horrible neglectful situation. And it was that neglect that triggered me. I wasn’t sure what about his situation triggered me, so I went online to investigate (the internet can be good for some things)! Anyway, I decided to research the difference between abuse and neglect. At that point… Continue reading More on How My Cat Triggered Me.
The Body and Dissociation
One of the things I’d read about (again, before, the internet!) was how the body could change depending on which alter was out, or in control. One alter could have a particular food allergy for example, while no other alters had that issue. I was not aware of how dissociation affected me and my body… Continue reading The Body and Dissociation
A Phobia Uncovered
In the state I born in, I went to an in-state college. I was 18 years old. I went to the bookstore to get my list of books I needed for the semester, and I proceeded to the checkout. I had my checkbook out to write a check (no credit cards for college students then),… Continue reading A Phobia Uncovered
More On My Relationships with Animals
When I was in my early to mid-twenties, I worked with animals. One of my duties was to take care of a colony of breeding dogs. There were probably 5 or 6 pairs of breeding animals along with pregnant mothers, who were in separate cages. When I initially began to take care of the animals,… Continue reading More On My Relationships with Animals
My Relationship with Animals
When I was a teenager, I discovered that I could communicate with my cat at the time. I don’t remember how I discovered this. but when I tried it, it did work. We did have dogs at the time, but I did not see if I could communicate with them at that time. Our cat,… Continue reading My Relationship with Animals
My Depression has Finally Lifted
It took 6 months, but my depression finally lifted, My depression was triggered by my jury duty experience, See a previous entry for my jury duty back in April. One or two months after that, I went to my primary care physician for what seemed to be a depression that was triggered by the jury… Continue reading My Depression has Finally Lifted
My New Kitten is Triggering Me.
Several months ago, I adopted 2 kittens, a boy and a girl, who were 2 months old at the time. They were bonded siblings. They were at a local Humane Society satellite facility. I did spend some time together with them. The adoption coordinator told me that the girl didn’t take any shit from the… Continue reading My New Kitten is Triggering Me.
Depression
I have suffered from clinical depression for most of my life, though for a long time I didn’t know it. I’m not sure when this happened, since I have no concept of time, but there was a time when I was diagnosed with depression. Now, my depression lasts for weeks or months. I do take… Continue reading Depression
Residual Effects
I continue to feel lingering effects from my jury duty experience. What surprised me the most was the fact that I was so unprepared for this experience. Afterall, I did jury duty in another county before. Of course, in the earlier jury summons, I didn’t know I was a multiple. at that time. As a… Continue reading Residual Effects
The Castle
As I said previously, I thought the door I saw in my vision, was an old door. It had a rounded top at the top of the door. After a while, I realized that the door was a castle door. The image of myself was being small standing in front of this door. Small as… Continue reading The Castle
The Last Door
I don’t remember how this came up during a life coaching session with my massage therapist, but I brought up the feeling and idea of the Last Door. There has been much resistance and feeling like there was something else coming up. And it has been that way for a while. All I knew was… Continue reading The Last Door
My Father and Bill Cosby
When Bill Cosby was on tv with his show in the late 80’s-early 90’s. he was considered “America’s Dad”. His show was called The Bill Cosby show, and his family was called the “Huxtables”. A middle-class black family with a father who was a fine upstanding member of the community. There was no torture no… Continue reading My Father and Bill Cosby