PT3 While I only tried to kill myself only once, the suicidal ideation continued for years (decades!). One example of this was I would play “chicken” with cars. Crossing the road while a car was coming, luckily, I never got hit. But that was one example of my strong desire to die without committing suicide.… Continue reading More on Suicidal Thoughts
Overcoming Decades of Wanting to Kill Myself
PT2 One thing I will say about my unsuccessful suicide attempt, was that it wasn’t my exit point. That’s a recent revelation on my part and I will be going into it in a future post. At any rate, it was not my time to go, hence the unsuccessful attempt. I did not know that… Continue reading Overcoming Decades of Wanting to Kill Myself
More on How My Cat Triggered Me.
My new cat Stevie came from a horrible neglectful situation. And it was that neglect that triggered me. I wasn’t sure what about his situation triggered me, so I went online to investigate (the internet can be good for some things)! Anyway, I decided to research the difference between abuse and neglect. At that point… Continue reading More on How My Cat Triggered Me.
The Body and Dissociation
One of the things I’d read about (again, before, the internet!) was how the body could change depending on which alter was out, or in control. One alter could have a particular food allergy for example, while no other alters had that issue. I was not aware of how dissociation affected me and my body… Continue reading The Body and Dissociation
A Blessing in Disguise
As I mentioned before, my father died on March 22, Saturday. When I got the call from older sister, I’d already known from my oldest sister’s posts that my father had died. I will explain my use of my father versus my dad, A dad feels more intimate than a father, which is why I… Continue reading A Blessing in Disguise
The Immediate Aftermath
March 22, I got the call about my father had died. It was around 2 p.m. my time, when i got the call. It’s funny how I found out he was dying. I wonder if they even were planning on letting me know. My older sister and her husband send out Christmas cards every year… Continue reading The Immediate Aftermath
My Friend Fran
I met Fran about 6-9 months, maybe a year, after I moved to the State, I currently live in. I met her through mutual friends. She was about 40 years older than I was. The age difference didn’t matter, we developed a friendship. She lived close to me at the time. I would go visit… Continue reading My Friend Fran
More on My Father’s Death
I wonder if my father was waiting for my oldest sister to come out so he could pass. It would not surprise me. After my father died, my older sister called me. Even though I’d read the test messages, she told me my father had died. She then proceeded to tell me that “we all… Continue reading More on My Father’s Death
The Death of My Father
I am on a group text with my remaining siblings who are still alive, as we are scattered around in different areas of the country, to get updates on what’s happening with my father. My oldest sister has been out to my father’s place. She happens to be a nurse by profession. I’m not sure… Continue reading The Death of My Father
The Dutiful Daughter
I had started writing a different blog about my father and was going to write about part of this idea of being the dutiful daughter when I had a session with my massage therapist/holistic life coach. Now I’d been seeing her for about 8-10 years. The only reason I can estimate that is she once… Continue reading The Dutiful Daughter
More On My Father, PT.3
Last Saturday, I received a group text stating that my father was doing okay, though he had lost a lot of weight and gets confused at times. He evidently likes to talk on the phone and talks about me often. They said they were going to call me until they realized the time difference didn’t… Continue reading More On My Father, PT.3
My Dying Father, PT.2
As things turned out, I had the initial date wrong. The date my father went into hospice was January 4th. In late December, my father celebrated his birthday. Evidently, he thought he was turning 100 (99 actually), so my siblings threw him a 100-year-old b-day party. Through text messages, I learned that not long after… Continue reading My Dying Father, PT.2
My Dying Father
We interrupt the normally schedule blog for a special breaking blog. I was actually working on another blog to publish when this came up very, very recently. I hope to get back to that one, eventually. I had left work to meet a plumber at my house when I had gotten a text. As an… Continue reading My Dying Father
A Few More Phobia Details
When I write these blog posts, I generally don’t write the entire thing in one day. It can take several days or even longer, depending on what’s going on with me. I mention this because of a talk I recently had with my massage therapist/spiritual life coach, after I had written the previous post. My… Continue reading A Few More Phobia Details